Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
