Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize