Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
