no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
