Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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