you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
