Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
