So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
