I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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