I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
