dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sorry about my life...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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