I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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