She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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