He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
