wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
God, I missed his penis.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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