you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
