hotel room ftw
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
