bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
