then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
