What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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