did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize