So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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