me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
