Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
