So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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