My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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