Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
