so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
