Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
