I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
