My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
worst night to have a conscience
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
