Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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