So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
