Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
