i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
