she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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