Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
