Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
