My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
