bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
