Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She just used a chaser for red wine.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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