How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
