Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
