there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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