is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize