i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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