ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
