Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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