Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
