I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish I only lived at night.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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