you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
