It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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