I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
