The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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