so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
