He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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