I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
