she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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