I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
