And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
