Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
this hospital has no fireball
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
